First of all: Any sign can date any sign with great success, and any sign can date any sign with disastrous effects. Astrology doesn’t dictate, in any shape or form who we should date! Personally I’m more interested in what my gut, heart, and sense of curiosity tells me in a relationships than what my or someone else’s birth chart does, and I think we all should be!
ANYWAY: Astrology can tell us, I think, more about our individual personalities, and learning your own, or, your partner’s birth chart (or cosmic blueprint, if you like) can help us to understand and empathize with ourselves, and with each other in a deeper way. Specifically, the planets can influence some key areas of love lives: like our basic, emotional needs, our communication styles, our natural fight or fight responses, etc. But if we want to get a sense of what the stars really mean for our love lives, we have to, of course, go a step beyond just the horoscopes we read in the Metro.
So, here’s a crash course in some of the key parts of astrology to consider if you’re thinking about relationship compatibility:
There’s More To Someone’s Cosmic Makeup
Than Just Their Sun Sign
Collage by Bryanna Brown
When we say “I’m a Taurus,” or “I’m a Virgo,” we’re referring to our sun sign, (or the position the sun was in when we were born). Our sun sign determines our basic, default state. The energy of our sun sign comes through in our leadership style and generally how we show up in the world. So, our sun sign is really about our ‘outer self,’ and there are a bunch of other planets that influence the other parts of us:
Moon: Rules our emotional needs and feels
Mercury: Communication and thought
Venus: Love and attraction
Mars: Drive and passion
Jupiter: Growth and expansion
Saturn: Discipline and maturity
Neptune: Dreams and fantasies
Each planet, and its position in our birth chart, makes up one small part of a larger patchwork quilt that is our personality blueprint! As astrologer Diana Brownstown said: “you can’t just determine someone’s personality by 12 choices (or sun signs).” Cast your chart for free here and you can see how these planets, and if you know your partner’s time and place of birth, you can do some cosmic creeping on them, too.
Compatibility Based On The Elements: Earth, Air, Fire, Water
One general way to determine how two people’s energies may interact in a relationship is to think about the elements of our sun signs. The zodiac is divided into the 4 elements earth, air, fire, and water. These elements all interact with each other in nature, and need each other to create a thriving ecosystem – so, there’s no ‘bad mix,’ but there could be some imbalances that happen and create conflict.
Here are some of the elements of each sign, and what they mean for our personality:
Earth signs (Capricorn, Virgo, Taurus): Tend to be grounded, practical,
Air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius): Tend to be intellectual, idea and action-oriented
Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius): Tend to be dynamic and passionate
Water signs (Pisces, Scorpio, Cancer): Tend to be emotional, intuitive
Think about how your and your partner’s elements interact in nature. Fire can heat up water and make it bubble over if there’s too much heat. Water could dampen a fire’s flame and extinguish it if it’s too much! Similarly, too much emotion and not enough action could leave a fire sign feeling a little dull, and too much passion could make a water sign want to explode and melt everything around it. But when in balance, they can totally co-exist and even support each other. Just consider your basic tendencies, and your partner’s tendencies, and what elements or ‘tools’ you might need to reach for in order to balance things out when things to sideways.
Compatibility Based On Moon Signs: Your Emotional Needs
One key planet to pay attention to when determining relationship compatibility is our moon sign. The moon determines our emotional needs and instincts – what we need to feel emotionally secure. If our sun sign is our ‘outer self,’ our moon sign can be thought of to represent our ‘inner self.’ Here’s a rundown of what each moon sign needs to be emotionally content:
Aries Moon Sign: A sense of progress, attention
Taurus Moon Sign: Stability, routine, sensual pleasures
Gemini Moon Sign: Communication, newness, excitement
Cancer Moon Sign: A place of repose, family (chosen or otherwise) and comforts
Leo Moon Sign: Self-expression, feedback, a creative outlet
Virgo Moon Sign: Routine, cleanliness, a plan
Libra Moon Sign: Balance and harmony in relationships, beauty in surroundings
Scorpio Moon: Honesty, depth, passion, quality over quantity
Sagittarius Moon Sign: Travel plans and a sense of adventure, a means for growth and expansion.
Capricorn Moon Sign: Structure, long-term goals, material rewards
Aquarius Moon Sign: Friendship, individuality, community
Pisces Moon Sign: Solitude, a sense of spirituality, an artistic outlet
If your emotional needs are totally different from your partners, you might rub up against some issues in the long term. Someone with a Cancer moon and someone with a Sag moon, for example, might find their needs are just too different to lock it down for life. This doesn’t have to be the case, though. If the Sag moon has a bunch of Pisces in their chart, for example, it could make up for the imbalance in the moon sign. Think holistically when forecasting your chances of success.
Compatibility Based On Other Key Planets for Relationships
Three planets I think are important to note when it comes to love compatibility are Venus, Mercury and Mars, which are referred to as ‘inner planets,’ so, these 3 move quickly through the zodiac and so when they shift around, they affect our day-to-day life and feels a little more than others.
Venus is the planet of love and beauty, and it determines what we’re attracted to, not just in people, but also style and décor. The sign that Venus was in when you were born indicates what kind of energy you’re naturally drawn to in people and places and things. Mercury is the messenger planet, ruling communication, so your Mercury sign can help you understand you’re and your partner’s communication style. Mars is all about drive and combat – so understanding your and your partner’s Mars sign will let you know how you each tend to fight for what you want.
If THIS got your wheels turning, take a look around astrostyle.com which is my favourite astrology site, and if you’re really into this, definitely get you a chart reading with a pro astrologer! Understanding yourself from the view-point of astrology is one way you can learn how to work with yourself, not against yourself, in all aspects of life, including relationships.
(Story by Contributing Editor, Kait Fowlie)