For the longest time, I used to troll through photos of girls on Instagram, commenting to myself on how “fake” or “plastic” they looked. But then, I took a step back and gave myself a much needed reality check. First off, I don’t know why I was perpetuating all of this needless girl-on-girl hate, but also who am I to judge without actually knowing these people? The internet is filled with all sorts of humans doing all sorts of different things, but you’ll never see the whole picture of any situation, no matter how hard you try to search for it online.
I went to school to be a holistic nutritionist, where I learned all about the abundant healing powers of natural health care. And don’t get me wrong, as much as I love this stuff, it’s not a magic cure-all solution by any means. Sometimes, there are some deeper-rooted issues that require a different approach – whether conventional or otherwise, combined with some natural love and support. And so that’s why I decided to get shit (AKA fillers) injected into my face.
I’ve oscillated between dismissing this idea altogether and just going for it, for a while now. I extensively researched before and after photos, watched videos of procedures, looked up ingredient lists and effects and I’ve even talked to people who’ve had it done themselves. But it was only when I met the incredible staff at North Medical Spa in Toronto, that I actually felt good about it. They made this very personal decision of mine to slightly alter my face, such an easy, comfortable and safe one.
Now you might be thinking, “Uhh what the heck does this have to do with healing?” Well, let me break it down for ya, folks.
Sometimes, Ya Need A Little Help And That’s Okay
Like many others, I’ve battled with confidence issues for my whole life. We’re raised in a society filled with constant reminders of how we could be better, look better, feel better, do better. And as much as I don’t like subscribing to the superficial side of that, I do believe that self-care and self-improvement is key–in whatever form that takes. After taking time to think about how one little change physically could make such a huge impact on me emotionally and mentally, I came to a place of acceptance and then released any judgement associated with this decision, whatsoever.
Moving On Is Moving Forward
I’ve always hated the bags under my eyes, ever since I was a little kid. I distinctly remember when I was 11 years old and we got paired up in class to draw portraits of each other. When the teacher came around to see how we were doing, she leaned into my partner and said, “don’t forget to draw the lines under her eyes.” I always look tired and I’m not always that tired (okay, yeah I’m a little tired, but still). As I got older, they’re all that I could see when looking in the mirror or in photos of myself. I tried different concealers, creams, eye masks, supplements, getting more sleep, ice cubes, tea bags, cucumbers–literally everything except haemorrhoid cream (because I just couldn’t bring myself to put butt cream under my eyes). Nothing made a huge difference. These babies are hereditary and they ain’t goin’ nowhere. Now, you might be thinking that self-acceptance is more important than wanting to get rid of the problem altogether. But, I want you to think about what steps may be needed for someone to get to that place, and how they’re always different on every individual’s path to loving themselves. And this was one of mine.
I Just Wanna Look Like Me, But Better
So, I decided to get tear trough fillers done. I went into the appointment super prepared with all of my research done and had even talked to the clinic about it several times before going ahead with the procedure. The whole thing was virtually painless, super simple, minimal healing time and I even noticed a difference right away. Now, I didn’t come into this wanting to look totally different–I should still look like me, but just a fresher version. That’s why going to a clinic that will say no to certain things or won’t push the limits too far, is so darn important. I was immediately more confident from the second I walked out the door and into the next phase of Catherine.
It’s Your Own Darn Body
Hey, fillers aren’t for everybody. Botox isn’t for everybody. Heck, not everything someone else does is for everybody else. So I’m not saying that you should also go out and get shit injected into your face in order to feel better about yourself. I’m just saying that you’ve gotta do what feels right for YOU, period. And yeah, initially I worried about what people in my industry might think of me for doing this, but then I realized that I actually don’t give a hoot. Because it’s as simple as the fact that I’m me and they’re them. And it’s my body.
This one small change, which no one actually noticed until I told them, made the biggest difference for me. I look a bit more rested, or refreshed. I’m not focusing on my eye bags as much as I used to, which allows me much more room to focus on the things that truly matter. So yeah, I’m taking this as one heck of a healing experience, natural or not. And I’d freakin’ do it all again in a heartbeat.
(Story by Contributing Editor, Catherine Sugrue)