The time hath arrived. You’ve done the impossible. You woke up and felt – what can only be referred to as – okay. For the first time in a long time, your ex (or that person you had a situationship with) wasn’t the first person you thought of when you arose, nor were they the one whose day you centered yours around.
Instead of waking up and worrying and wondering about your past gone wrong – or how you can give good thirst trap – you finally, refreshingly, arose ready to move forward.
And, like, YES! Finally! Hallelujah emoji! Champagne bottle emoji! Confetti emoji! Essentially all emoji’s over words, because, honey, you’ve arrived.
They say “things take time,” and as frustrating as that saying may be, you’ve lived it and have risen above. If you’re here, this means you’re finally in a place where you can move on; where you no longer waste your days wondering and worrying what you did wrong. Because let’s face it, that’s what happens when things end unexpectedly. You have the inability to see the big picture and you take it so personally so you think, no wait, you know, that you messed things up and you’re the problem and you feel a little worse for wear.
But you’re past that and that is a victory! And we could leave it right here and that would be all well and good, but unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. And so, spoiler alert: It is at this time that you’re feeling 100 where out of nowhere you’ll hear from the ex. Just wait for it.
This could be via a slew of “likes,” on your Insta. This can be through them sliding into your DM’s to “See how you’ve been.” It can even be through a needy little text intended to pique your interest to pull you back into the palm of their hands, right where they want you.
But don’t be fooled by these actions. This is not love. This is not someone realizing you are The One and worthy and that they made a huge mistake. No, honey. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s jealousy. It’s boredom. It’s loneliness. It’s the realization that the grass isn’t always greener, and their intuition has alerted them that you’re no longer in their grasp.
Whether they ghosted or gave it to you how I like my bourbon, straight up, chances are you hearing from them will not only pique your interest, but will also make you feel like you have your power back. But mature, adult women who know their worth and respect themselves know power- or the illusion of it – isn’t what healthy relationships are made of.
As dumb or un-manipulative you think your ex might be, I can tell you this: things have not changed. They are dangling crumbs in front of you, and we all know a meal cannot be made of crumbs.
You may think that you have yourself and your heart under control, but by responding to their sudden re-interest, you’re doing yourself a serious misfavour.
No matter what they say they “have to tell you.” No matter how curious you are. No matter how much your need to feel loved leaves you tempted to just meet up, just once, to hear what they have to say, just don’t. The past belongs in the past. Even if they want you back, do you really want one who was so able to dispose of you and your feelings in the first place? Delete the text. Block them on social. Take control of your triggers and move forward knowing the power to move forward was within you this whole time.
(Story by Contributing Editor, Jen Kirsch)