As someone who has dated a guy many years younger than me, I’m always intrigued when I read yet another story or see yet another segment on an entertainment show, that refers to a notable, female celeb dating a younger guy, as a “fun phase.”
“Let her have her fun,” hosts have said referring to the likes of Kourtney Kardashian, 38, who was dating Younes Bendjima, 25, “She deserves it after what she went through with Scott.” Same was said when RHONY’s Carole Radziwill, 54, first started dating her on-again/off-again Adam Kenworthy, 32, and for basically any other strong, successful woman dating a younger man.
And I mean yeah, let them have their fun. Like of course, because relationships should have an aspect of fun and playfulness in them. That’s how relationships begin, right? But just because a woman is dating someone a significant amount of years younger, doesn’t mean that fun is a guaranteed aspect of their relationship, nor does it mean the relationship lacks seriousness and doesn’t have the potential to flourish into something that not only works, but lasts. Because let’s face it, age doesn’t dictate maturity, nor does it dictate ease and there are benefits that come with various types of relationships.
A relationship works best when both partners are on the same page. When they are a team. When they are rooting for each other and not against one another. When they trust one another, and have each other’s best interests and well-being at heart.
Many publications have been quick to jump to conclusions on why the eldest Kardashian sister recently split with her much younger beau of almost two years. And sure, thanks to KUWTK reruns we know that when they first started dating she wasn’t looking for anything serious. But as most situations work when there’s love and respect the more time you spend with another, the more you have the opportunity to grow together and your initial wants and needs can change over time.
The only time age comes into play in your relationship with someone younger is in the number of years lived and the experiences and lessons that come from living a longer life and learning from mistakes and loss and lessons over the years.
Younger guys are more than just a disposable dose of fun, a boy toy at your beckon call, or there for your convenience to flaunt and follow you like a puppy-dog wherever you choose to show them off. Despite a large age gap, people are complex and come with their own traits and perks and ways of beings all which can come together to bring out the best in you.
And so, here are 7 benefits that come with dating someone younger. Hopefully by the end of this list you’ll change that age restriction you have up on your Bumble, Happn and Tinder account.
Seeing Things Through Refreshed Eyes
In any new relationship, you have the opportunity see people, places and things from a fresh vantage point through another’s eyes, but there’s something sweet about the perspective of someone younger. They have the possibility to be a bit more naive or a bit less self-aware, which is endearing and can make you automatically feel younger.
Whether accompanying you to a work event, a friend’s wedding, or something of the like, the younger guy tends to be intrigued and not jaded by these sorts of soirees and happenings. They come in open minded and enthusiastic for the opportunity to not only be included but to learn of a world and experiences anew.
Open To Following Your Lead
If you’re in your thirties and dating someone in their twenties, chances are you’re the one who has the career, the connections, the home, the invites. The younger guy tends to have more time and is open to letting you lead the way, not only on what you’re doing, but also the pace of the relationship.
Up For Anything In The Bedroom
Okay, maybe not anything but those who are younger and are potentially less experienced are eager to please. They also have the ability (not to mention time) to play in the bedroom, always up for another go round thanks to the stamina that comes with being a guy in their 20s.
They Bring You Out Of Your Shell
There’s nothing more precious to me than staying in on the weekends, or running back home after plans during week nights to put on my At Home Uniform (pj pants and a loose old t-shirt, likely of an ex’s), toss my hair up in a scrunchie, and pick up whatever book I put down before I headed out. I’m out most weeknights covering events in the city and I love my weekends in because of it. But when dating a much younger guy, no night ends at 9pm. There’s no such thing as just staying in bed all day. He’ll encourage me to go for drinks at a hot new spot in the city after an event, or hosts friends to hang at his who I can meet up with when my bed is calling for me. The subhead for this should be called a lazy, homebodies guide to getting out of bed.
You Learn From Them
Leave it to dating a millennial to learn about all the latest things. As a thirtysomething woman, we often feel like we know it all and have learned it all but when dating someone born in the 90’s you’ll be fast to learn about terms, and places and people thanks to everything they’ve learned vis a vis YouTube, Snapchat and the like. I mean, has your older boyfriend ever shown you a clip of the man who does Mario from Mario Bros. voice? What about the guy who does Winnie the Pooh’s voice? They’re never not learning and sharing (even though it may be annoying while they’re doing it).
(Story by Contributing Editor, Jen Kirsch)