Welcome to 2018 my friends, the year of positivity. We all know that 2017 was an over all trash pit of fire for the entire world, but, this trend of unfortunate events also trickled down to a micro level where the worlds of nearly everyone in my closest circle of friends were rocked. Myself included. Of course there were highs, but there were a helluva lot of lows, and I’ve pretty much been looking forward to the start of 2018 since all of last year.
My highest highs came at the very beginning of last year. I returned home from a series of international trips and was overwhelmed by an extremely urgent desire to adopt a dog. Although Josh and I had discussed and debated getting a dog for a few years already, it felt like the time to do it was right then. I believe this was the universe leading me to find my furry soulmate, #OliveRoll, at the Toronto Humane Society just in time. (You can read more about our adoption story and experience at the Humane Society HERE if it’s of interest.)
A mere two weeks after adopting our new pup, I started to notice that my body was feeling everything but normal, and the symptoms weren’t going away. I also couldn’t remember the exact date of my last period. I sat Josh down, looked him in the eyes and told him I thought I might be pregnant and asked if he would walk to the nearest pharmacy with me to purchase a test.
The result? We were pregnant, and we were thrilled.
The next few days were a whirlwind; I was leaving for Europe in less than a week to attend my best friend’s wedding, and I had no idea what to do now that I was expecting. I rushed to my family doctor, who, essentially gave me a high five and told me not to eat any cold cuts, cheese or gelato while in Italy, or drink any wine (obviously).
I got on the plane to head on a two-week European vacation feeling as nervous and excited as ever. I slowly and quietly shared our news as I caught up with old friends in London and the wedding party in Italy. Even though it was early, sharing the news was the easiest way to explain why I wasn’t drinking and joining in on the celebrations with everyone else.
But as my trip started to come to an end, so did my symptoms. Something was wrong, and I knew it. But was I sure? No. Plenty of forums I scoured for information shared experiences of symptoms coming and going while the baby was still fine. Sadly that wasn’t the case for me, and an early ultrasound set up by my new midwife resulted in a devastating call: no heartbeat was found.
Even with the inkling that something was wrong, and the mental preparation I had put myself through beforehand, I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the incredible heartbreak and emotional rollercoaster I would experience for months after my miscarriage. Even now, I get choked up thinking about it, or talking about it, and this is why it’s taken me a long time to write about.
While wallowing in my own sorrow, it felt like one by one, every close friend of mine would have a devastating incident of their own to deal with. Keep in mind that my closest circle is small, and in this year alone we have dealt with: an engagement that was called off, surprise job layoffs, more break ups, the passing of beloved pets, sudden illness, another miscarriage, and, most recently, a sudden death.
As I said, 2017 was not a great year for a lot of us.
Of course, it was not all doom and gloom (although much of it felt like I was always walking around with a dark cloud over my head) and I have to regularly remind myself of the positive aspects of 2017.
2017 brought clarity to my vision and goals for my business. I was able to hire my first-ever Assistant Editor (Hi, Blair!) and prove to myself that I could successfully lead a team and even become a mentor. My side-hustle, The Chic Canuck, is now selling our very own branded skincare products at all 12 locations of Sporting Life (FYI our new website is coming soon), and, despite the hardships, I’m just feeling blessed as hell to be heading into my third year of business working full-time for no one but me, myself and I!
Now on GracieCarroll.com you may notice a few new changes that signify what’s to come. First off, we’ve got a dope new design that my talented team has been working on for months. Next, you’ll notice that it says Edit Seven by Gracie Carroll at the top of the site. Let me explain: Edit Seven is the next phase of the ever-growing GracieCarroll.com website; one that will be providing you with fresh content seven days a week at seven am. As we continue to grow our content production, we will also be growing our team of talented writers and voices who contribute to this site. I’m extremely excited about this, and I hope you are too.
This growth will also bring room for the coverage of new and important topics that I’m passionate about, and passionate about sharing. Stay tuned for a new series focusing on women in the cannabis space by Ama Scriver, and, you guessed it, articles that cover sensitive issues like mental health and miscarriage because you know what? It’s important for us to know we’re not alone.
Stay tuned and give us your feedback as we grow, make mistakes, try new things and strive to build the most kickass female-focused lifestyle website we can. As Blair and I like to say, “We’re building our dream jobs!” Which, by the way, is one of the best things about being an entrepreneur.
So here it is, 2018: the year of positivity. The year of all good things. The year of hustle. The year of love.
I hope only for the best for all of you this year.